These queer bodies are confronted with a double marginality-they are rejected from straight society for who they fuck and fall in love with and then rejected from the corporate queer community for their non-whiteness, fatness, and/or femininity. Queer bodies that do not conform to these rigid boundaries of identity (read: fats, femmes, and/or racialized queers) are relegated to the margins of this social networking application. Hegemonic narratives surrounding the queer male body have constructed a queer space on Grindr that celebrates and welcomes whiteness, masculinity, and muscularity. The notion of “no fats, no femmes” has left me constantly questioning what it means to “belong” on Grindr and what bodies are afforded a “sense of belonging” in that space. I learned quickly that my queer identities existed behind a ubiquitous phrase that is used on the application: “No fats, no femmes.” 1 In fact, this phrase has been popularized so much that for the low-price of $28.50, you can celebrate pride this year with your own Marek + Richard tank top that spells out in big, bold letters that you are not interested in fats or femmes (for the record, do not buy this shirt). It was the first time I felt like my queerness was something that could be “wrong”-my fatness was deemed as gross and unattractive and my femininity was devalued and degraded. My fat hairy body existed amongst a plethora of abs and rib cages and the makeup on my face marked my queer identity as feminine, which was contrary to the profile descriptions declaring “masculine guys ONLY.” It was the first time in my life that I started to understand my queer body as fat and my queer identity as femme.
When I started engaging with the application, I immediately remember feeling like I did not belong. It was the first time I downloaded Grindr, the largest online queer social networking (read: fucking) application geared specifically towards queer men. This personal narrative began when I was about 20 years old. This personal narrative is dedicated to all the queers who have had to learn to play by a different set of rules on Grindr. The narrative radically explores the intricate double marginalities that fat and femme queers must navigate when their bodies and identities are simultaneously eroticized and discriminated against. The piece deconstructs the now-ubiquitous phenomenon in queer male communities, “no fats, no femmes,” and examines the complex intersections and interactions that exist between queerness, fatness, and femininity.
PDF of this Piece // PDF of Issue 7 // Table of ContentsĪBSTRACT: “More Fats, More Femmes: A Critical Examination of Fatphobia and Femmephobia on Grindr” is a personal narrative about the liminalities of being a fat and femme queer on Grindr, the largest and most-widely used social networking application geared specifically towards queer men.